There are two kinds of people in this world: those who prefer Samoas and those who prefer Thin Mints.
What.
Yes, I'm parsing Earth's population by Girl Scout cookie preference. And why not. This is important work we're doing here, people.
A couple of weeks ago, all the powers of the universe aligned and Glamour HQ was blessed with a complete set of Girl Scout cookies—including this year's three newest flavors: Rah-Rah Raisins, Toffee-tastic, and Trios, the latter two of which are gluten-free. In the name of science, editors and staffers took time out of our busy schedules to participate in a data-and-analytics-driven super-rigorous cookie taste test. It took hours. We labored over the ranking system—to the hundredth decimal point! And at the end of it all, here are the results.
Here's the breakdown of all 12 cookie types, in order of popularity and preference, with quippy notes.
1. Samoas / Caramel deLites: "GOAT: Greatest of all Time" and "Very sophisticated."
2. Thin Mints: "Like Beyonce, flawless" and "Made me shimmy upon first bite."
3. Tagalongs / Peanut Butter Patties: "Pretty much perfect" and, alternatively, a backhanded compliment, "I hate peanut butter but find these still edible because chocolate."
4. Lemonades: "It's sort of like you're eating fruit" and "I like the surprise bottom layer."
5. Shortbread / Trefoils: "As I've gotten older, I've grown the appreciate the simplicity of this cookie" and the insightful "It's a good accessory cookie" (which means: it goes well with other stuff, like coffee).
6. Thanks-a-Lot: "Two thumbs up for the multicultural design" (the different languages) and a neutral "I mean, it's a cookie, so that's a good thing."
7. Savannah Smiles: "Surprisingly good!" but also had notes of "Pine-Sol"?
8. Do-Si-Dos / Peanut Butter Sandwich: "I heart peanut butter!" Who doesn't? But some PB lovers were disappointed: "I was so sad to not love a peanut butter cookie. It feels wrong."
9. Rah-Rah Raisins: The new entrant was deemed "A classic oatmeal cookie. Take that as you will." And tasters suggested it might appeal to a broad audience: "Tastes like something my grandma might like."
10. Toffee-tastic: Also for family members: "This is a cookie my grandma would really like." And maybe a little crumbly: "These cookies made me thirsty."
11. Trios: I'm not sure what this means: "You could make a meal out of this." And, yes, you have to chew them: "Eating this one was a real workout."
12. Cranberry Citrus Crisps: "Everyone hates this one, but I could eat a lot of them. Sometimes you just need a bland, chewy cookie, no? No??" A resounding non-endorsement, all around.
What are your favorite Girl Scout cookies of all time? Tell us in the comments below!
