Did you ever wonder what men talk to their doctors about behind closed doors? Abraham Morgentaler, M.D., author of The Truth About Men and Sex and associate professor of urology at Harvard Medical School, is here to tell us.
Whether it's the ever-popular concern about penis size or questions about libido and orgasm, here are the most common questions Dr. Morgentaler fields from male patients, as well as the answers.
Is my penis big enough?
"Men are a bit obsessed with the size of their penis, tending to view this as an indicator of their manliness," Dr. Morgentaler says. "In one study, 75 percent of men reported they believed their penis was smaller than average, which of course is statistically impossible. In this report, a study of over 15,000 men revealed that the average penis size was just over 5 inches when erect."
Do men really fake orgasms?
"They do. A University of Kansas poll found that 22 percent of young men had faked an orgasm at least once. Sometimes an orgasm just isn't going to happen for a man, due to alcohol, medications—the SSRI antidepressants are notable for inhibiting orgasm in both men and womenor even stress, and just like a woman, he'd like to be kind to his partner yet bring the activities to a close so everyone can get some sleep." How does a man fake it? "Acting is acting," says Dr. Morgentaler. "As for the 'evidence,' if a man wears a condom he just needs to hightail it to the bathroom before his partner notices anything." Perhaps men who don't use condoms aren't able to pull off the same performance.
Why do I have less sexual interest than my girlfriend?
"It is not uncommon for women to desire sex more often than their male partners. The stereotype that men are ever-ready, ever-able to have sex is simply false. Sex drive varies from one man to the next, and can vary for any given person depending on circumstances. If a man is stressed, or sleep-deprived because of young children or work, his libido may well take a step back."
That being said, if you're curious how you stack up against the average, "Most healthy couples in their 20s and 30s have sex at least a couple of times a week," Dr. Morgentaler says, based on his research. "But for many a frequency of once weekly is all they desire or can manage. Men who desire sex less frequently than this may benefit from speaking with their physician, particularly if this is a change for them."
Why do I have premature ejaculation?
"Men with premature ejaculation often feel terrible about themselves as lovers. It is defined as an inability to prevent ejaculation from occurring within one minute of vaginal penetration and is associated with distress, meaning it bothers the man or his partner."
One minute doesn't sound like a long time, but ejaculation after just a minute or two is not a rare occurrence: "Premature ejaculation is common, affecting approximately 20 percent of men regardless of age, and can be a life-long problem or one that develops suddenly. Unfortunately, in most cases there is no clear explanation why it occurs. There are good treatments, though, including exercises, desensitizing sprays, and medications. One effective strategy for couples is to pay attention to the woman first, so that vaginal penetration becomes a 'bonus' even if it is short-lived."
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