First Lady Michelle Obama and actresses Sarah Jessica Parker and Kerry Washington are sitting in the Blue Room at the White House. This trio of female forces, who know one another through their work on the President's Committee on the Arts and the Humanities, aren't here just to catch up on life and gush over pictures of Washington's baby daughter, Isabelle (with husband and former NFL cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha). They're here today to spread a crucial message: This Memorial Day, America's servicewomen, veterans, and military wives—courageous women—need our help.
Movie sets and military bases may seem like polar-opposite worlds, but Washington, 38, and Parker, 50, have been personally inspired by our men and women in arms. Washington's father, Earl, served before she was born, while Parker and her husband, actor Matthew Broderick, have friends in uniform. And over the past four years, Mrs. Obama, 51, has tirelessly advocated for military families, primarily through Joining Forces, an initiative she launched in 2011 with Second Lady Dr. Jill Biden, whose sons have served in the Army National Guard and the Navy Reserve.
These women already have a long list of commitments: Washington stars as Olivia Pope on Scandal and will portray Anita Hill in the HBO biopic Confirmation, which she is also executive-producing. Parker, who plays Maggie in the upcoming romantic comedy All Roads Lead to Rome and designs the SJP shoe collection, is the mother of twin girls Marion and Tabitha, five, and son James Wilkie, 12. Mrs. Obama, whose daughters Sasha and Malia are now 13 and 16, respectively, has a serious to-do list as First Lady, championing healthy living and girls' education. So why turn their attention to this cause, military families, right now? Over a decade ago, during the height of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, our servicemen and -women were constantly in the public eye, in newspapers, music videos, car commercials. Today, most of the more than 2.5 million men and women who deployed are home safe—but they deserve just as much attention as when they were braving IEDs and insurgents. During this reentry period, advocates point out, many veterans face hardships (from homelessness and unemployment to post-traumatic stress disorder and the effects of sexual trauma), and we can't underestimate the support they need.
In a Glamour exclusive, I sat down with these powerhouse women at the White House to talk about all of this, from how to help military families to whom they'll be celebrating this Mother's Day. SJP almost cried. You might too. Read an excerpt of our conversation below. For the full story, pick up the May issue of Glamour starting April 14, or download the digital edition for your tablet now at glamour.com/app.
Cindi Leive: Mrs. Obama, when we interviewed you for your last Glamour cover, six years ago, you were early in your tenure at the White House and still choosing the causes you wanted to champion. You said: "I have to be very passionate myself about the issue to be able to represent it well." What made you passionate about this issue?
Michelle Obama: Well, during the first campaign, one of my jobs as my husband's spouse was to travel around the country and really listen to women. We held small discussion groups, [and] there were voices that were new to me: the voices of military spouses, many of them women, and veterans.... I was overwhelmed by their challenges, and the notion that we as a country don't even know that these women exist, because we live in a country where one percent of the population protects the rights and freedoms of the other 99 percent of us. I thought that if I had the opportunity to serve as First Lady, I was going to use this platform to be their voice.
CL: Joining Forces is celebrating its fourth anniversary. What have been some of the high moments for you so far?
MO: It's always positive to hear how many people are willing to step up—whether it is the employment community, mental health community, or medical community.... The response is always yes.
CL: Kerry, your father served. Sarah Jessica, you have friends who have served. But even so, you were saying that this can be a difficult issue to understand and support. How so?
Kerry Washington: There is this idea that those who serve are untouchable heroes. [But] the more we hear what people are going through, [we realize] it's what every woman is going through.... The challenges are just put under a magnifying glass because their lives are so extraordinary.
Sarah Jessica Parker: I feel like there's a laundry list of issues they face.... Being a working mother, serving, returning from Iraq or Afghanistan—I almost don't know where to begin.... And I feel intimidated by their service; I feel ashamed that I haven't served. So I almost feel like I'm patronizing by inquiring how to help. When you see a serviceman or -woman, you always—I always—say, "Thank you for your service." But you know that's not enough.... What do we do? Every community has a community of veterans. Where do we begin?
CL: Mrs. Obama, where do we begin?
MO: Start in your community. Most of what these men and women need is people in their backyard lending a helping hand.
CL: I know the rates of PTSD are higher for female veterans than for male veterans, and the causes are many, from [witnessing trauma] to experiencing sexual assault. What do we owe these women whose symptoms are getting in the way of their returning to a normal life?
MO: One thing I want to clarify—that every service member, veteran, wants us to remember—is that the vast majority of people returning from service come back completely healthy.... But when we do come across someone who is struggling...we have to develop a culture of open arms and acceptance so that they feel comfortable saying, "I'm a veteran. And by the way, I need little help." This is something we need to do in this country around mental health as a whole—destigmatizing mental health.
CL: Kerry, I loved that you told Glamour in 2013 that you relied on friends, family, and a good therapist.
KW: I mean, yeah. Absolutely. I say that publicly because I think it's really important to take the stigma away from mental health.... My brain and my heart are really important to me. I don't know why I wouldn't seek help to have those things be as healthy as my teeth. I go to the dentist. So why wouldn't I go to a shrink?
MO: Sarah Jessica, you spoke to a veteran struggling with PTSD.
SJP: Jennifer [Madden]. She brought up [the fact] that there are those who return with PTSD—and while that needs attention and focus, they also want to not be considered damaged goods.
MO: That's exactly right.
SJP: It's important that when they go to meet a potential employer, this person knows they are capable. And that any issues they have are the same ones any of us might have—whether we lose a family member or have a period of sadness. We want to talk about the public health challenges. But we also don't want to put so much focus on these issues that veterans seem like they are made of glass. You don't want to meet them and you're like, "Are you OK?"
KW: They aren't broken; they are heroes. They have extraordinary discipline, courage, and capacity—that's what we can focus on.
MO: Think about the amount of training the average veteran has received through the military—physical training, project management training, public relations work. Think of an average tour of duty in a foreign land, the money we put into developing that, and then they're discharged, and what, we let that investment go? Absolutely not. These are some of the best-trained people in our society.
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