Smitten

The Most Ridiculous Reasons We've Heard Why Men Won't Wear Condoms

Unless he's allergic to latex or lambskin, there's no good reason for a man to reject the idea of wearing a condom so you can have protected sex—especially if it comes to having sex with you or all by himself. And yet, we've heard everything from the somewhat whiny to the downright ludicrous when it comes to why guys won't wear a rubber. Prepare to get your laugh on. "I'm too big to use condoms." Let's whip out the measuring tape, here and now. Because one of us is about to feel very smug. "I always pull out in time." To quote my older, wiser friend, "All men dribble before they shoot." So, no, just no, you probably don't. "I just won't finish." Because you enjoy the painful sensation that is blue balls, right? "It doesn't feel as good with one on." You know what else doesn't feel good? Popping out a kid. Or genital warts. "I'd rather do anal than wear a condom." Of course you would. But this is our first time seeing each other naked, so let's pass, shall we? "I don't have any." Strange, I'm pretty sure there's a 24-hour CVS around every corner. "Just hop

Unless he's allergic to latex or lambskin, there's no good reason for a man to reject the idea of wearing a condom so you can have protected sex—especially if it comes to having sex with you or all by himself. And yet, we've heard everything from the somewhat whiny to the downright ludicrous when it comes to why guys won't wear a rubber. Prepare to get your laugh on.

"I'm too big to use condoms." Let's whip out the measuring tape, here and now. Because one of us is about to feel very smug.

"I always pull out in time." To quote my older, wiser friend, "All men dribble before they shoot." So, no, just no, you probably don't.

"I just won't finish." Because you enjoy the painful sensation that is blue balls, right?

"It doesn't feel as good with one on." You know what else doesn't feel good? Popping out a kid. Or genital warts.

"I'd rather do anal than wear a condom." *Of course *you would. But this is our first time seeing each other naked, so let's pass, shall we?

"I don't have any." Strange, I'm pretty sure there's a 24-hour CVS around every corner.

"Just hop on top—you won't get pregnant that way." A. Yes, you totally can. B. Please never, ever breed.

"I'll put one on later." Great. We'll just sit here and wait until you do.

"Birth control is your responsibility." Cool, let me run down to the CVS and buy you a condom.

"You should just trust me." Right now, the only thing I trust is that you're acting like a total tool.

What other crazy, ridiculous excuses have you heard from a man who didn't want to wear a condom? If you didn't have another option of protection, what would you do if your guy refused to put one on?